THERE'S MORE TIMES
THAN NOT
THAT YOU'RE AS
REAL AS CAN BE.

BUT THERE'S MORE QUESTIONS
THAT CAN'T BE ANSWERED
THAT MURDERS MY BELIEF

. . . .

Paper Route

I still believe that change can happen though it's hard and it happens slowly..
I still believe forgiveness comes with love and God when it watches over me..
If we've all forgotten you?
Are we all forgotten too?

Don't you break my heart

Again..

Hello Hurricane

Ive wanted to lie in bed all day today and finally now at 10:30pm I have arrived at my destination.
I'm too tired for details.
Basically I am sad, scared, drained, and happy all in one.

You turn every head....

.... but you don't see me.

Passion....

I thought I found you.
I was wrong.
You only taught me and lead me to the right direction.
Now I can't get enough of you.
I feel a fuller filling that I haven't experienced.

I've never felt so alive; awakened.
And you won't leave.

The insecurities that once held me back do not exist in this element.
The fear of rejection won't find me.
The search is over and now the journey facing challenge begins.

...time...

I have more going on inside then I have energy to write or even guts to spill. These things that are creeping around in my head and heart seem scary to open up about because the level of vulnerability I need to have. So I'll just say that my heart is aching. I'm happy and excited to see what the future holds. I'm embracing the challenge to face and work on myself more and more. I have made healthy commitments to myself that I actually desire to keep. But aside from all these things my heart hurts. No one ever likes a hurt heart. Hurting from things that just takes time. And I don't want to wait. But I want to enjoy each day. Confused?

Blah.

I saw Dr. Drew tonight at the Arlington Theater. It was fantastic and I learned a lot in 2 hours. I met him and took pictures!! What a nerdy fan I am!!

I tweet.

Yes it's true. I have a twitter account. About a year ago I made an account strictly for art. It has done me well. I follow art happenings and they follow me! I can promote like crazy which I love. The problem is that I forget about it all the time. Ive been better lately. I really enjoy following Jim Carrey on there, he is quite a character.

I must have a really old layout of blogger because I don't have the "upload picture" button and it kinda sucked. There are photos worth sharing on here!! Oh well. Maybe it's my phone.

I just spent 5 mintues trying to kill a mesquite. I think I was successful. I have ears for those suckers and I laid here questioning if my ear was ringing and it wasn't! What is the purpose (outside of spreading disease) for mesquites?

I'm sleeping in tomorrow. Three more days left of this current job =).
A lot of change since august. It takes an average 30 days to adjust to change.

Clear the air..

So to clarify my disappointment of the Halloween weekend (since I was too tired to detail last night) is that I LOVE HALLOWEEN! And.. I did not do anything festive at all concerning Halloween. What is that about? The original plan was to go up north to Santa Cruz, dress like a banana, and party with my brother. Didn't happen. And I thought that I would still have a festive Halloween without SC, the banana, and my brother.. but it was just a typical weekend. Actually it was the most relaxed uneventful weekend I've had so far in SB.
It's ok. I'm over it now. BUT.. I love Halloween too much to let that happen again. I don't love it enough to see IV though. :/
Case of the mondays is over. =) for today.
This is my last week at this current job and also the last week I will ever play "princess" again. Thank God! No more playing the role of Ursula. So over the barbie princess scream all the time cuz I'm a little girl thing. I love kids.. but not these things.
Bah I have kind of a lot to write about but instead of sitting here taking the time to do so I am off to read =). I started a new book today.
I also haven't fully thought through what I feel like sharing on here or not sharing. There used to be a point where it didn't matter the level of vulnerability I was sharing on here but something changed. Hmm.

Thanks guys.

Rant=
Non-blinker users: you are the epitome of lazy if you can't use your blinker. It's mere respect of every other driver. You non users possibly madden when you rum across other non-blinkers.
There it is. My rant.

This weekend was disappointing. At this time of the night and at the end of the weekend; I not only feel stupid. I don't want to go into detail I just want to drop it. Time. Thanks for being unpredictable about when!