hello again

it's been a while since i have visited you.
no reason aside from not taking time to write.
i do know that i need this.
i need a lot..
and it's hard to admit.
hard to look at.
but most of all i need you.
you know who you are if you could read this.
and the sad thing is that you won't read this.
not only because you can't but it's not a part of your day.

.l.o.v.e.
you are possibly the hardest part to this life no matter how you are approached or used.
there are times where i wish i didn't love but i know deep down that you are the most beautiful part of this world.
the one thing i ask that will never be answered is why is love ripped away? and when it is why so painfully?
it's unbearable. absolutely unbearable.
the sadness and fog that enter an absent heart is like non other.
and all this time we have this facade that love happens in the movies. there may be some hurdles and distress but love always wins.
not in this life.
not when you pull your face away from the script and your eyes away from the lens.

within the first hour i met you.. you said to me "when you find love and have love nothing else matters." and you picked up the cash on the bar and tossed it "money doesn't matter."
but here we are looking at the exact opposite of that first night in the candlelight.
love is last.
now for me that makes sense for fragility that love should be last.
especially when it's unbearable to watch it fly away.

don't forget me.