I've got my life in a suitcase..

"See Love is a drink that goes straight to my head... and time is a lover and I'm caught in her stare... and the sentiment there follows me straight to my bed through the night. I've got my life in a suitcase I'm ready to run run run away...and I've got no time cuz I'm always tryin to run run run away..."
-Copeland.

Sometimes song lyrics speak my heart better then I ever could.
For a long time I lived with everything in a suitcase and there are a lot of moments that still pops up.
I still dream of owning a VW van, living in it, doing art, and traveling. What a life huh?

If I could stay up as late as I wanted/needed every night without worrying about getting up early I would be pretty happy. Nights are my favorite. Not going to bed nightime but staying up past others when its quiet and my mind can go along with my creativity. I feel better when I can stay up.
That's why this week is so great. No kids at school and the job I have this week is to paint. =]

There were parts of yesterday that really sucked and I wanted to get out my frustrations in ways that wouldn't be ok. But I didn't. Actually I wanted to say f*#k you but I didn't because I knew that saying that just makes things worse and no matter how much I may have felt that, the reality is that I would have regretted it huge.

Talked to Lia today and always puts me back into reality. I think a failing point I have from being so darn creative is that I daydream WAY too much and I also don't live in reality that way I should and its always at very important times.
Lia reminded me today that reality is what it is and that is what we're dealing with. Its hard to explain without going into details. But our conversation very much encouraged me and gave me a much needed strength. And the greatest part is that it had nothing to do with my life but hers. She wasn't telling me what I need to do or what I'm doing wrong, she just shared her own life and state of mind/actions and I was very much encouraged.

I am extremely blessed to live in the house I live in.
Brittany and Jared love me and never once have I questioned that. They've been in my life for almost ten years now and have shown me unconditional love in so many ways. I have done stupid stuff, turned my back on things ...ect.. and they are always there. Loyal people.
It really makes a difference to have loyal people in your life.
I still miss the beach. I hate wanted two places in one, and a lot of that is my friends/family and where they're located.
Bleh.
Now off to do something with my life...