Organizing, getting rid of (anything that falls into that category)is always very therapeutic for me. It's like I'm cleaning up my inside's .. but on the outside.
And there does come a point where I have to stop because I've absolutely had too much.

this is true about my own journey in this life.
i try to organize, get rid of, add some good... ect. to my own character and heart and the place i'm always left is that only God can really do that. And not only can He.. but I have to be willing to let Him do so.

Today was overwhelming. It was easy, long, boring, overwhelming, sad, hard, good, happy, but mostly overwhelming.
I don't know what else to do at this point but move forward taking each minute as it comes.. and frankly that's all I want and all I really can do.
I've tried to mold my future whether far or near and it blows up in my face. I've tried to make those plans that deep down feel against right but I still do them.
I just want to live.
Guided by His hand and not my own.

When I went outside tonight I saw tons and tons of stars (which I can't always see in Tacoma) and the only thing I felt and thought was total awe and the only thing I could utter was "Wow God, You really do have it all under control." It was the best feeling and thought I've had in a while. Ultimate trust left my heart at that moment.. something I've strained my prayers over for a while. I really do notice God's amazing creation all the time, but those moments where it seems like He literally held Your heart so you'd see what He has done and continues to do are always leaving me in total awe and the most peace a person could ever feel.
I am in that space now and it still feels wonderful. Some things are very sad, very hard and seem scary.. but this space is keeping the worry at bay.
The great part about this all is that the only reason I had to go outside is to feed and water my sister's chickens. I had totally forgot about them so didn't get out there until 10:30 and this God date was already planned.
thank you, for a great end to this messy day..