Hardship is down every path..

It's funny how it's easy for me to get on here and share my insides. I just wouldn't do the same in a crowd but a crowd could be reading this all at once. Hmmm. I don't even know if people take the time to read this. It's not about that anyways.

I did decide this will be the first place that I publicly announce that I will not be living in Washington much longer. My deadline to be gone is the first week of October. I know I've wanted to move for way too long now and the more I push back days, weeks, months.. before I know it another year has gone by. I very strongly know that I don't want another winter here.
I've felt strongly called to leave washington numerous times and I am good at blocking that out due to various different distractions but I don't want to keep ending up in this space of it feeling wrong to still be here.
I love my friends here more then they know.
I love my family here very deeply.
But it's ok to leave.
I'm moving back to california.
I can't explain the peace and excitement I have about doing so.
I've wanted to be closer to my brother for too long now and the time has come.
Many people I have personally told have solitified the fact that I need to move. It's like they saw something I've been supressing or just knew, and in that I felt much relief.
The exact week I move will depend on a job.
I have a phone interview this week -we'll see.
My boss wants to transfer me but there are no locations near where I'm going so he is going to write a recommendation letter for me and support the route I take. That was extremely relieving.
I've been putting a lot of time into finding a job I'll feel right about and also my art.
I want to go down there ready for art.

Since I've made this decision - or stopped being in denial about it - I felt alive again. So excited and motivated it's like I can't sit for a second because there's too much I'm dreaming about right now. I'm so excited to see where this path takes me.
and yes .. i will be sad to leave my loved ones
but this is the right thing.