There will be bumps in the road

I've always looked up to my brother and sister and as years pass I have eyes to see the not so good stuff that we've picked up from our childhood. Whether it be faults, habits, insecurities or fear they all kinda stink.
I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that my fight to leave my past behind me will possibly be a lifetime event. Each time I conquer something (or think I've conquered it) there is always something deeper. I don't know that I have found the root to anything because the times I think I do, not too soon after something brings up that repression or bitterness once more.
I've spent many hours being sad, mad, bitter, and resentful at my growing up and as much as I say I want to be completely done with those feelings and frame of mind there are still times it haunts me.
The hardest part is that when trials and hurtful events happen in the present I'm not so good at dealing with it. I've seen that other repressed feelings from things completely unrelated spring up and cause that much more trauma in my heart. I know that it is partly because I haven't fully dealt with everything and partly because if it rings close to what has happened in the past, those same feelings re-visit. It's my fault to not separate the two and to not be more diligent about these issues.
As much as my job is very hard, mostly draining, and irritating at times; it's a job that has brought some serious closure and healing to my heart and I have hopes that will continue. Being a part of kids who have dealt with intense trauma is extremely heartbreaking but so freeing, considering it's always been part of my dream.

As much as the trauma in my own life has stunted parts of me I still hoped to make a difference. The kind of difference in my own life and my families life that breaks family tradition. Some of those in my family are repression, fear of conflict, running away from anything and everything, ignoring issues.....
I've seen my sister and brother conquer this in specific areas but at the same token I'm seeing that much more needs to be conquered.
I hope that over time as we continue in family or start new ones, that we can break free from these setbacks.
There will be bumps in the road.